SA Hear my Voice: How to handle “it”
I live in a generation where standards and trends are set based on likes, follows and shares. There is an ideal of the so-called “it”-girl, who every 18 to 25-year-old strives to be. I, an impressionable 21-year-old student, was one of those girls who in January decided to become “it” for herself. It’s April, and let me tell you, “it” is not going as planned. Ané Janse van Rensburg
I had this idea that at 21, you are supposed to have your life all figured out. The list that needed to be ticked was simple and stated quite clearly: 1. Practice an unshakable healthy lifestyle, 2. Get rid of all social awkwardness, 3. Be in a steady relationship with 1 ½ of your children’s names already picked out 4. Be so sure of your identity, all flaws should be disposed of and completely absent from your life and 5. All insecurities should be shrugged off with a polite giggle. I catch myself asking myself how it is possible that so many girls have it all together, a perfect picture put together, but I am unable to do “it” so easily. As a type of consolidation, I imagine that I am not alone in this- that many others also struggle dealing with “it”.
Social media creates an unnecessary need to constantly portray a perfect lifestyle, making young women feel pressured to present themselves accordingly. We are conditioned to believe that the perfect woman doesn’t need any makeup, a toothbrush or a fix of the hair- she is always more than presentable! In reality, photos are carefully selected, edited and inspected before posting. This creates an unrealistic reality, where in fact a sense of transparency and honesty goes completely lost. Here’s the truth that needs to be practiced and manifested everyday: It’s okay not to have it all together all of the time. We are imperfect beings, perfect in the way we are created. Once we realize this, it is so much easier to empower other women to become the best versions of themselves instead of comparing different versions of fake perfection with each other.
Having imperfections, is okay. More than. It might be one of life’s invaluable lessons to learn that a person will always have something that needs work. It might be your social skills, comparing yourself to others, your body, your work ethic- whatever it may be: identify it, and hone those skills like a boss! What is life without a bit of a challenge? What is a woman without accepting it?
A friend’s WhatsApp status once said: You are not behind in life. Your journey is just different. Like many other over cheesy inspirational quotes, it speaks the truth that some are just too scared to admit. May we stand above our fear of rejection, comparison and failure to rise above who we think we are. May we look past the followers, likes and so-called realities that are being portrayed. May we find our own truth- may “it” be exactly what the world needs.
