CHURCH SHENANIGANS 2

From an entrepreneur’s point of view: the one thing your company’s newsletter or bulletin is supposed to do, is to communicate information to your employees. Sometimes even in churches, this can go horribly wrong when the overworked and underpaid secretary, who needs to be a Jack(y) of all trades, just isn’t up to the task. And the reverend himself might not have any proofreading skills!

CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS

*The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

*Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “Hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

*For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

*Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

*Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

*At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

*This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

*Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

*The Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals.

*The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

*Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

*Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

*Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

*Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

*Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

*The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

*Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

*The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

*Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

*Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

*The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.