What does success mean to you?

The other day I attended a meeting where the keynote speaker asked the question, “what does success mean to you?” I was bowled over when he said success is so much more than achieving financial goals. Society in general measures success in terms of job titles, money, and social status.

So, if success is not measured in any of these. How do I measure success?

Before we can measure success, we first need to define “success”. According to Oxford Dictionary it is “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose” and “the good or bad outcome of an undertaking”.

You need to know what the purpose or undertaking is, in other words, the goal, in order to determine if you have succeeded. Each goal is unique to a person.

We are multi-faceted human beings – we do not only consist of a job title, money, or social status.

Robin Sharma talks about the 4 Interior Empires that need to be balanced for us to achieve success. The four pillars are:

• Soulset (Spirituality)
• Mindset (Psychology)
• Healthset (Physicality)
• Heartset (Emotionality)

If we look at the four pillars the general view of success is not separately defined. If we just think a little bit further, we will realise that a lot of people that achieve the society’s success measure are not very happy in other areas of their lives.

Success will be the encompassing factor of all four pillars. I think that if success is the tabletop, then the pillars are the 4 legs that keep the table stable.

Let’s do a little exercise to determine what success looks like to you.

With a pen and paper, find a quiet space, any place where you will not be disturbed for at least 20 minutes. Image the picture of your life if all 4 pillars are synchronised – write down (or draw pictures) of what is resonating with you, of how you see your life. (Nobody is going to mark the spelling or grammar, write what comes to mind – best of all, write from your heart.)

List the milestones you want to achieve in the different areas of your life. List the values, the principles, the habits, and the steps you need to take to stabilise the table.

When you have painted the picture for yourself, ask yourself these questions:

• Does this picture reflect my values?
• Is it really my goal (or the expectation of someone else)?
• Are some of the things listed more important than others?
• Have I already accomplished some of the things?
• What can I do now to change the picture to reality?

This picture will provide clarity because now you have a clear definition of what success looks like to you. It is your roadmap for the future.

We must stop comparing our lives with what is posted on social media, people do not post the real heartache, failures, and struggles. It is all about the “good stuff” in life. They do not show what is happening behind closed doors. And then we use those posts to compare our lives with their so-called success. It is the same with role models and mentors, follow them and use the information given, but make it your own. Implement what is resonating with you.

Comparison sets us up for failure even before we started. When comparing yourself to others you always feel inadequate. You will end up chasing someone else’s dream instead of your own. This cannot be said in any other way: “Comparison gives a skewed version of reality that highlights your insecurities while exaggerating the success of other people.”

Surround yourself with people that value you for you and not for what you have.

You need to find your definition of success to be able to measure the achievement. Remember that the picture is not cast in stone. The picture will change according to where you are in your life in other words, your age, and circumstances.

The picture of what you want from life begins in the mind, so success begins in your mind. Revisit your picture regularly, define it, adjust the design but always on your terms and what you want. Jack Nicklaus said: “I never hit a shot, not even in practice, without having a very sharp in-focus picture of it in my head.”

I realised that it is in my power to set my table if I find my definition of success for all 4 pillars. I can just imagine how exquisite the table will be as the design is uniquely me.