Oh Mother! Part 1
Unless your husband is stinking rich and you can afford a chauffeur, nannies, domestic workers and endless appointments to the beauty parlours, then this article is written for you. To those lucky excluded few that falls into the above category, we can only say “Go Girl!”
Many women all over the world ask themselves this question daily “should I work or stay at home for my children?” Working Mothers feel guilty because of the time they are not able to spend with their children and stay at home Mothers feel guilty because they may not be able to give their children all the luxuries they would like to give them.
Working moms
The reason why mothers work
- Mostly for financial gain
The difficult financial times we live in just made it so hard, even for a family of three or four to survive. If you think of the cost of school fees, stationary, clothing, groceries, fuel and entertainment it is almost impossible for most middle-class families to have one partner not working.
- Driving passion and ambition
Imagine you studied for years to get your degree in a direction that you feel extremely passionate about. A medical professional for instance will choose this field because they want to serve and heal. Not many people would waist so much time studying for something that they would instantly give up as soon as they get married or fall pregnant.
- Escape mechanism
Some women choose to work because they find that work helps them be better wives and Mothers. They tend to feel a bit depressed and even lonely when they are confined to the four walls of their home. This “recluse syndrome” could have a negative effect on family life. The heart of the home needs to be mentally and physically stable for the family to function at its best even if that means working just for the sake of working.
Flipside
The reason Mothers decide not to work
- Tradition
Some tribal and modern households just continue the tradition of their mothers and fathers. In many cultures the man is seen as the primary bread winner and the wife as the nurturer and caretaker of the family. Taking care of the family would be their first responsibility. These women work hard and mostly do their own childcare, cleaning, cooking, baking and in some cases even making their own clothes. Some home makers learn to be true experts at budgeting. Their husbands usually support this belief because of their own religious or views on family life.
- Lack of Education leading to unemployment and less opportunities
So many women, especially in Africa never had the luxury of education. Lower paid jobs do not always offer food, childcare, or travel allowance and this makes it difficult to start a career. They end up being home makers and the caretakers of their immediate and working family members. Not by choice but by circumstances.
- Just do not enjoy the pressure of a working environment
Some Mothers just enjoy the freedom that home life offers them. They might be well educated and tried out a job or profession before but just never felt at ease in a working environment. They are the ones that chose a path of less stress and responsibility. They find their peace amongst their family members and the lives of their husband and children.
Most Mothers choose the path that they feel best suits their family’s needs. They are the backbone of society and family dynamic. With Mother’s Day on our doorstep, let’s all take some time to honour our mothers, no matter what path they chose. The debate around working mother’s vs stay at home mothers continues…