Flipside – Love, Chemistry, and the original sin of Valentine’s Day
The dark history and possible Origin of Valentine (feast of Lupercalia celebrated February 13 to15) leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. Naked women apparently begged to be whipped by men with a hide of a goat or a dog in a sad attempt to help them become fertile.
They were then paired off to a man by lottery for the duration of the Roman festival and then dumped or kept, depending on the man’s appetite. The other myth states that Valentine was a Roman priest who saved men from war by marrying them off to women as the roman Emperor Claudius II believed that single men were better soldiers. Valentine was put to death by the Emperor for trying to interfere with the law of Rome. Centuries later the Catholic Church made the priest a saint. Valentine’s Day as we know it only became the celebrated day of romance round the 14th century.
Most people experience love as a burning passion or a strong sexual connection with someone. It is widely referred to as chemistry. Certain factors supposedly contribute to that chemistry. A more mirrored approach to love as the person that you fall in love with need to fit into your perfect picture. Physical beauty, mutual believes and interests, specific compatible personality traits, smell, body types, and then they need to comply with these standards for the duration of the relationship (or risk getting traded-in for someone that still fits the profile!)
Flipside
Swans form a long-term relationship with their partner and even after death, they never seek another partner. They epitomise the forever, truly, madly, deeply… kind of love. They live out the one ageless kind of love all human beings long for, but battle to find.
I recently landed up in the Cardiac Ward of a hospital and saw the most beautiful love story play out – right in front of my eyes.
A lady in her 70s came into the ward after she had a stroke. Her speech was impaired, and she constantly sobbed like a baby. I felt so sorry for her and sat by her bedside trying to calm her down. It was difficult to understand her, but I made out that she was extremely worried about her husband and that he might be taken aback when he sees her face and battle to understand her.
That afternoon her husband and daughter came to visit. They were heart broken. Her daughter explained to me that her mom had a stroke because of shock after her dad fell and broke his arm. Her mom was always the healthy and happy one, the busy body so the stroke came as a surprise to all that knew her.
The husband was heart- broken next to his wife’s bedside. It moved me to tears when he took her fragile face in his hands and sobbed while he stroked her hair, telling her that he still thinks of her as the most beautiful woman. He kissed her long and passionately on her mouth like a young lover kissing a new found love. He held her tight reassuring her that he will be okay and that they were going to fix his arm the next day. He clearly put his own pain on the backburner just wanting her to be positive and get better. He left the ward bewildered, tears running down his cheeks.
This kind of love surely cannot be chemistry only? This is more, it is mutual respect and a soul and heart connection, let’s call it … the swan connection.